The candle flame gutters

I’ve been blogging for a year now here at missing sparkles. It started as a small group of us, each presenting our own views, opinions and discussing what we each saw as important issues within the queer community, the greater social environment (I was going to use the word milieu, but I don’t want to look like a wanker) and the intermingling thereof.

However, our numbers quickly dwindled, some before we even started, as each individual author found themselves too busy, usually engaged in the sisyphean endeavour known as the PhD.

Before long, there was only me. With my idealistic cynicism, loving disrespect for politicians, affable polemic, and occasional use of naughty words. Words like fuck, for example.

After the others left to pursue academic titles and post nominals I entertained the notion that I would find replacements and other people to cover the wide gamut of queer identities, but for various reasons they never manifested — typically because those I found who were interested were themselves too busy doing other things, and those who were free were already blogging or writing in their own spheres.

So it was just me.

I had never intended to stay with missing sparkles forever, but I thought I would be here for a long time. I’ve been planning to finish up here for a while, but now a series of events has hastened my departure.

I written before of my mental illness — I’ve never been shy about being public about it — and it’s affected my blogging here in the past. But now it’s come racing back and caught me blind in a dark cul de sac, it’s black robes fluttering around me as it drags my optimism into the darkness of shame and despair.

The other issues hastening my departure are as complicated as they are my own.

It’s a shame to see this blog end. I built up a nice little audience, got myself into a few intellectual scuffles, had endless fun with Tau Henare, and ended up pissing off some of my friends.

I will return before too long, but not here. Maybe not even as Mr Wainscotting, though I am quite attached to the identity. I’ve always felt an affinity with the phoenix — in a purely symbolic sense, of course — and I will rise again, with a new blog where I can write about a greater range of issues (perhaps not with the same grandiosity as the legendary bird, but a boy can dream).

Many years ago, when I was at my lowest, I purchased a book that gave me a perspective that brought me back from the brink. That book is Carl Sagan’s The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark. Being dyslexic, books have to be very interesting for me to be able to read them, and Sagan never fails to disappoint. I almost never read fiction books — I get my escapism from daydreams and cinema. It is in non-fiction that I find most pleasure and in the realms of science and particularly astronomy that I find my perspective.

I’m going into my room now. I’m going to curl up with my hot water bottle, maybe snuggle with my Ted E. Bare teddy bear, and read that book.

“The candle flame gutters. Its little pool of light trembles. Darkness gathers. The demons begin to stir.”

Good night.


Johnny Galecki doing it right

A lot of celebrities have to field rumours spread in the gossip rags about them being gay or lesbian. It’s seen as some kind of dark secret that they should be ashamed of, which makes for juicy reading while you’re waiting in line at the checkout.

Johnny Galecki is one such celebrity, and he’s responded thus:

I've never really addressed those rumours, cause I always figured, why defend yourself against something that isn't offensive.

(I found this on Reddit. Apparently that was taken from The View or something)

Hit the nail on the head.

Magda Szubanski gets it right

“The law means that you could be a serial killer and have killed all of your spouses and yet you would still be considered fit to marry.

“But if you are gay, then you are not worthy of these same rights.”

Szubanski came out publicly on Valentine’s Day and said the above, and she absolutely nailed it.

“We pay taxes, fight wars for this country, nurse you when you are sick, make you laugh, sing and dance for you, play netball for you, star in your movies, cook your meals, decorate your store windows.

“And, chances are, gay people designed whatever it is you’re wearing.

“All Australians, including gay Australians, should have exactly the same rights, including the right to love, marry and take care of our partners.”

Another video…

Here’s a beautiful video from Italy:

While homosexuality has been legal in Italy since 1887, they don’t currently recognise same-sex marriage. I believe that extending to everyone the right to marry whom they love, is one of the hallmarks of a decent society.

The description on the YouTube video finishes with

“Gli affetti non hanno sesso,
non ha senso discriminare amore.”

I plugged that into Google Translate to see what it says. I thought about getting a better translation, but I prefer the idiosyncrasies of the computer translation, which lend it a sort of cute je ne sais quoi:

“The affects are not having sex,
Love does not make sense to discriminate.”

Love cannot be censored

Valentines Day is over for us, but it’s still finishing it’s chocolate and Hallmarked rampage over the US.

Here’s a video someone in Seattle posted to his valentine. It’s both adorable and poignant:

It’s important to remember that in many places, we still don’t have rights. Fighting for those rights, doesn’t just mean getting us marriage and adoption in New Zealand. It means fighting for the equal rights of all human beings, wherever they happen to live.


Right, my various commitments over the holidays had me a bit more tied up than I expected. I was rushed from finishing my studies and graduating (Yay! Graduating!), then I was sent to the other end of the country for a job, and now I’m back in the down south (but all my luggage isn’t — got to the airport too late. Sad face.)

Normal service shall now resume (having had two people independently tell me off for not blogging, even though they know how busy I was) immediately, as I have found something to piss me off. I shall begin typing away and you shall see it very soonishly.