A couple of weeks ago, I was at a dance party in town. We don’t have a dedicated gay bar in Dunedin so groups such as UniQ Otago et al will hire a venue to run queer events every month or so. Because the bars they hire aren’t gay bars, we often get a number of straight people wandering in throughout the night — which there is nothing wrong with (the event was billed as “straight-friendly”) so long as they respect the fact that it’s a queer space.
Enter annoying woman and her reluctant/awkward boyfriend. The boyfriend was clearly uncomfortable being around so many… (whisper it) *homosexuals*, but she dragged him in there anyway. She, on the other hand, couldn’t be more elated. My friend and I, quietly chatting as audibly as we could next to the giant speakers by the entrance, were the first two Real Life Gayz™ she came across that night.
“Can you two make out? I’ve never seen two gay guys make out before and I really want to see it!”
I glance at my friend and back to her, “um.. we’re not a couple.”
“SOOOOO? Make out!”
Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we’re all fucking each other like swinger-rabbits. There exist the same boundaries between individual gays as there does between individual straights. I couldn’t walk up to a random guy and a girl in a bar as ask them to make out out of curiosity in straight people, and you can’t do it to us.
Furthermore, even if we were a couple, asking us to make out so you can watch is creepy. To think that you’re entitled to come into a queer space (with your boyfriend whose awkward demeanour seems to be visually making a point of not wanting to be there) and get us to do gay stuff on demand like fucking dancing monkeys to satisfy your privileged voyeurism, shows you’re more interested in treating gay guys as exotic fruit more than human beings.
Sure, you probably would have found someone there willing, but to ask every gay guy you see is plain offensive, especially when you’re coming into our space to do so. Treating our sexuality as your sexy plaything is not affirming, it’s demeaning. If you want to see it so bad, fuck off and use the internet, until you can learn to gain our trust and not just have us around as token make-out toys.